Scarlette has three invisible friends, possibly four if you count Tyler although Tyler tends to function as more of an alter-ego.
Like yesterday she took her shoes off in the car, which is not allowed. Mostly because it drives me crazy to have to wrangle her shoes out from under the seats and put them back on her before we go into a store but also because it holds up preschool car line and APPARENTLY people are really hardcore about preschool car line. I know this because I got reprimanded for doing it wrong and also because of that lady who made a very unfriendly gesture at me when I ACCIDENTALLY went out of turn on account of how I counted the cars incorrectly.
(For the record lady, I totally thought that one car was parked and also I am not sure that sort of body language is appropriate in front of small children.)
Anyhow when I heard Scarlette’s tell-tell mischievous giggle coming from the backseat I said with all of the patience I could muster “Scarlette, please tell me that you did NOT take your shoes off” to which she answered “Oh it’s okay Mommy, TYLER can take her shoes off because it’s okay for Tyler and not for Shcarwette but Tyler loves to be barefoot so you not can be fwustwated at Tyler I guess.”
Or she will casually answer my questions in the third person as Tyler, like if I ask her if she wants eggs for breakfast she will shrug, walk past me and then look back over her shoulder all nonchalantly while wrinkling her nose and shaking her head slowly and say “Actuawwy bagels are Tyler’s favorite. Yeah. I fink I would wike a bagel I guess.”
Her other invisible friends are Sophie (who looks like this and whom she takes to the Farmer’s Market) and a set of twins named Meangee and Moangee (I assume that is how their names are spelled based on Scarlette’s pronunciation. Of course, she still calls herself “Shcarwette” when not referring to herself as Tyler so there’s that.)
Scarlette spends a lot of time talking to her entourage and eavesdropping on her conversations with her invisible friends is one of my favorite things to do. (Which works out in my favor because it is impossible to not hear said conversations on account of how they happen loudly all day long.)
So yesterday I was listening to Scarlette play alone in her room while I was working and I stopped to write down everything she was saying because it was hilarious. It went like this:
“Heeeeyyyy guys, I know dat you all weally want to be animals but I am the only WEAL elephant. Okay? OKAY? Okay. Dis is how I sound: PHHHHHHH. Do you want to see what my twunk can do? SLURRRRP! SLURP SLURP SLURRRRP! TA-DA! I know. I am very good at being an elephant I guess.”
I was still laughing at that when she came walking into the den like this, with her old stethoscope wrapped around her waist as an elephant trunk while wearing my straw sun hat.
And when I said “Hey Scarlette, what are you doing?” she said “Oh, I just showing Sophie, Meangee and Moangee how good I am at being dis elephant.”
Then she stomped on her block tower and left the room.