Scarlette Says: My Feelings On Time Outs


Hi everyone! It's been awhile since I last stole Mommy's computer to tell you all sorts of stories about her, like that time she brought a tree in our house. She's got that idea in her head again it seems but this year I am on to her. I already found all of those presents she started buying for "The Cousins" (who, as it turns out, are real people.) Except they are still not people I want to share with so I snagged a few My Little Ponies when she wasn't looking and hid them under my bed. I'm pretty sure she hasn't found them yet on account of how she is real bad at that vacuum thing. Anyhow, I'm almost three now and so I've learned lots of … [Read more...]

#stuffscarlettesays and Other Shenanigans

this is what happens when I attempt to take her picture

So once upon a time before I had a kid of my own, I had a friend whose child was extremely precocious. "I sincerely hope that my child is this hilarious" I told her after she told me about finding their cat covered in nail polish. "Be careful what you wish for" she told me. I recalled that conversation last night, when I was searching the house for Lucy Dog who I could hear whimpering but could not find. I could not find, until, that is, I asked Scarlette if she had seen Lucy and she told me "I Shushie da twash!" And that is how I found Lucy locked in our pantry, with Scarlette trailing behind me proudly declaring "YEAH! I SHWOW SHUSHIE DA … [Read more...]

Scarlette Says : How I Feel About Christmas Trees


Y'all. I know that my mother is a little bit crazy. For one thing, she spends all day saying things like "Scarlette, we do not color on the wall. We only color on our paper." Which is crazy because, HELLO! The wall is SO MUCH BIGGER than that flimsy piece of paper she gave me (Which I totally saw her pull out of the printer. It's like, invest in a coloring book woman.) Does she seriously think that single sheet of paper  is going to be able to contain my creativity? No. It is not. I have a lot to offer the world via my selection of colors. For another thing, she puts weird things like spinach in my drinks. She tries to call them "smoothies" … [Read more...]