The other day I sent Scarlette to her room for “independent play” which is a highly intellectual activity designed to further enhance her developmental stages.
(Or basically a thirty minute period of the day where I try to encourage her to stop using me as a climbing gym and indulge myself in seven cups of coffee and a brownie.)
I walked her in room to find her playing with her rocketship and noticed a very odd smell. Unfortunately, this is kind of a thing around here as Lucy Dog is getting very, very old and a little bit senile and sometimes tries to sneak in Scarlette’s room and mark her territory in there.
(It’s only making me a little bit crazy, if by a little bit you mean THIS CLOSE to holing up in a hotel and telling J that I am not coming back until everyone in this house is fully potty-trained. AGAIN, LUCY.)
Except this specific odor was less like an accident and more like something burning.
Which was fairly alarming mostly because I knew that had not recently set anything on fire.
I asked Scarlette what the weird smell was and she very helpfully said “OH I KNOW! MAYBE IT’S A EYEBROW!” And I was like “I don’t even know what that means.”
So I continued looking around her room whereupon I found this little wooden astronaut toy balanced precariously on top of the lightbulb inside the lampshade on her lamp.
When I asked her WHY she put the toy on top of the lightbulb she said “Because he was visiting the sun.”
I mean, honestly.
Her room is childproofed.
I still leave the video monitor on when she plays in there alone on account of her surplus of shenanigans and also how I am slightly prone to a high amount of anxiety.
And she STILL somehow manages to almost set things on fire.
This kid, I haven’t been able to relax since the minute she was born.
(Related: I was recently honored to be asked to be a community family fire safety ambassador, which was something I really wanted to do but could not because of time restraints with other commitments, like supervising my child and also my book. And now I feel as though they are probably reading this and thanking their lucky stars I had to decline.)