April showers bring May flowers. They also bring bizarre Google searches like this one and this one. I love the randomness of the Google searches that lead people to my blog so much that I made a little category for it.
The best part of these searches is that they were all searched on more than one occasion. As if the search terms weren't bizarre enough as it is, it leaves me in total awe that either a) the same person is frantically searching for the same thing repeatedly or b) more than one person is searching the same obscure phrase. It's just like that scene in Fievel.
"And even though I know how very far apart we are, it helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star searching for things that are bizarre."
1) "Where's that to?" – I have no idea. Googling isn't going to help you out here because what your question is missing is PERTINENT INFORMATION. This question only works in person, like if someone hands you a map or points to a trail. Then you can ask "Where's that to?" albeit improperly. The internet will never provide you with a satisfying answer to this question.
2) Waistband stomach ache – don't wear such tight pants. I'm talking to you, Miley Cyrus.
3) Kayla Aimee + Ex Boyfriend's name – the fact that someone is continually Google searching (and by continually I mean over 14 times in the past month) for me + a guy I dated over five years ago is creepy. This is exactly why Jeff won't let me post pictures of our house on the internet.
4) What can I pretend is in my postal package when my parents ask? – here's the thing, if you need to ask this question at all, much less to a robotic online search engine, I'm gonna have to recommend you DON'T ORDER WHATEVER IT IS YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT ORDERING.
5) Tornado safety – I am happy to know that my blog probably saved a life today. That's why I do this. To save lives. You are welcome.
6) Where can I find Grandmother's lamp – Mostly likely over the river and through the woods. A good place to look for Grandmother's lamp? At Grandmother's house. A terrible place to look for Grandmother's lamp? On Google.
7) Singing the macarena in the bathtub – while this does sound like fun, I can't help but wonder why you were googling it. Are you trying to diagnose someone? Do they randomly burst into a lively rendition of the macarena whilst bathing? Are you wondering how to complete the complex dance maneuvers of the macarena whilst in the cramped quarters of the bathtub? Why? Why did you Google this?
The other thing I love is knowing that the next time these phrases are
searched, the searcher will end up here, reading my commentary. It's TOTALLY like my Dear Abby fantasy come to life.
In completely unrelated news, swing by my blog tomorrow because Pink Paislee is giving away a $25 gift package to one of my blog readers!
