My three year old daughter goes to science class once a week. Before anyone gets all ragey at me about forcing some sort of academia on her at such a young age, let me just say two words: eleven dollars.
The class costs eleven dollars for six weeks of one hour sessions. ELEVEN DOLLARS Y’ALL. That’s less than two dollars per class, which is math that even I can do. It’s basically the most affordable babysitting ever.
The class itself focuses mostly on learning about nature and doing fun experiments. I wondered if she might be a little too young for it, even though she fell within the age range, but I enrolled her anyhow because I knew that she would like the social interaction and playing in the dirt. And also there was that whole thing about how I would get to sit in the parents room for an entire hour every week for less than two dollars.
(In case you were wondering when I find the time to read copious amounts of YA dystopian fiction, the answer is Junior Scientists Hour.)
As it turns out, Scarlette loves science class and remembers every single thing her instructor tells her. The other day she was rubbing her hands back and forth really fast and when I asked her what she was doing she answered “Mommy. I’m making FWICTION or somefing.”
Before they go outside to do experiments I can see Scarlette through the glass as she makes wild hand gestures to punctuate her words. If the door is open I can also hear her chattering and let me just tell you that her instructor has the patience of a saint, a SAINT I tell you, because this is how every single class goes. Every. Single. One.
Instructor: Who can tell me what this is?
Scarlette, waving hands wildly: OH I KNOW! I KNOW!
Instructor: Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
Scarlette: ME I KNOW ME SHCARWUTBONNE I KNOW!
Instructor: Okay, Scarlette, what is this?
Scarlette, hands out to her side: OH HEY WHAT IS DAT FING?
Instructor: This is a feather.
Scarlette: BUT WHY?
She is paying attention during all of that exuberance though because the other day it started to rain and she looked at me and said “Don’t worry, Mommy. Dat just da water cycle.”
The only slight problem with all this is that Scarlette has been asking me a lot of questions about nature for quite some time now, long before this class began. So she also enjoys enthusiastically piping up with “BECAUSE GOD WUVS US!” as the answer to any question about plants, which is definitely what I tell her when she asks me five million questions like this about why we have trees, but probably not quite was her instructor was looking for.
I didn’t see the Junior Scientists class listed on the roster for the summer schedule.
I have a hypothesis about that.
