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Three years ago we rolled a bright pink coat of paint on the walls at her father’s insistence. He saw her and he wanted to create a space for her, something bright and beautiful and befitting.
I dipped a brush in the paint to cut in closely around the corners, the crisp white of trim, the sharp edges echoing a pulsing pain in my heart.
What if she never came home to this room?
We worked shoulder to shoulder in quiet, hushed by the thought, creating a place for her as we rolled out all of our love onto the walls in candy pink.
When we finished we were marked with it, spatters of paint covering our clothes and we could wash these walls over with white if we wanted to paint it all away if the worst came but the evidence of it would always remain on the fabric, mixed in with with all of the other colors that made up our home.
He put a dot of pink paint on the tip of my nose and we filled the room with laughter.
When we walked through the doors of our house with her for the very first time since she was born six months prior, an unspoken glance had us turning a sharp right as soon as we crossed the threshold. We walked her into the middle of the room we painstakingly put together and we whispered “Welcome home.”
At bedtime I rock her in the corner chair, her three year old legs wound around my waist, and she asks “Mommy? Can you tell me a story about a time when I was a little tiny baby and my pink bedroom?”
And I say “Once upon a time, there was a tiny little baby name Scarlette….”
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– On Fridays I participate in a free writing exercise called Five Minute Friday, in which a group of us write on a given theme for five minutes. This week’s theme is PAINT and you can link-up here with us if you’d like to join in!
– Tomorrow marks the anniversary of the day we brought Scarlette home from the NICU. In honor of Scarlette’s homecoming celebration we will be walking in our local March For Babies on April 26, to support other families and raise awareness. If you would like to make a contribution to our team, you may do so here and Thank You!
