We tend to refer to Scarlette as “our little comedienne” because she is constantly trying to make us laugh. And if we do laugh at something that she says or does then she will do said thing repeatedly. These are some of my favorite Scarlette Shenanigans as of late, the first being what was probably one of my proudest mama moments and the last being well, you’ll see.
A bigger boy was mean to Scarlette at the playground – he rudely shoved her away and told her she was too little for him to play with when she asked him to slide with her. She put her hands on her hips and said “I NOT TOO WITTLE. YOU JUST NEEDA BE HAPPIER.”
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Went out to eat. Came home. Took off Scarlette’s boots for bedtime. Found three unopened packets of Splenda in one & two sugars in the other.
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Upon incessant begging I let Scarlette have a tiny vase of flowers in her room. I KNEW that was going to be a terrible idea. When I went to get her from naptime she had dumped it out on her bed, stuffed half of the flowers in her pants, pulled off the petals on all of the remaining flowers and was jumping in the puddle of water + petals pooled on her mattress. When I opened the door she looked at me and before I could say a word she said “WHOA! WHY DID I DO DAT? DAT WAS NOT A GOOD DECISION.”
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On Easter morning I asked Scarlette if she knew what day it was and she said “IT’S CORONATION DAY!” So then we talked some more about Easter but I feel like that was also an acceptable answer, King of Kings, Prince of Peace and all that.
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Whenever I take Scarlette in public she cheerfully strikes up conversations with strangers asking to be complimented on her clothing. “Hi my name Shcarwut. Dis is my hat. Do you wike my hat? Yeah! Yeah I wike dis hat. I wike your dwess. It bery beautiful.”
Then she helpfully warns them of the dangers of the signage hanging throughout the store, like the giant boards that hang above the vegetables that say “PRODUCE” and have photos of random vegetables of them. And by “warn” I mean randomly ducking down and yelling “WHOA! LOOK OUT FOR DAT GIANT TOMATO EBERYBODY! OH NO!”
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Scarlette just asked me if she could wash her hands and I said yes because what is the harm in that, right? I mean, good job on the hygiene kiddo. Except that she was in there for a bit too long so I peeked in to discover that by “hands” she meant “Mommy’s Flash Drive.”
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The next time she had to wash her hands I stood in the doorway to monitor the situation and she looked at me in the mirror and said “Oh hey Mommy, how about you just go on in da udder room for a wittle while so I can do dis?”
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I got on to Scarlette twice and so she just walked over to J, threw her hands in the air and said “Daddy, can you help me deal wif Mommy wite now?”
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I told Scarlette that she couldn’t play Uno until her bites of ham were all gone. Which turned out to be a poor choice of words on my part because when I turned back around she was cheerfully feeding all of her ham to Lucy Dog.
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If I start to have a negative answer for Scarlette, to tell her no or not to do something, before I can even finish my sentence she makes claw hands at me and roars like a dinosaur. This is one of those things where the cute is not going to linger, y’all.
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Scarlette was touching something that is off limits and after I told her not to she whispered something unintelligible and did it again. When I scolded her for not listening she said “Ohhhhhh no no no, Mommy, YOU didn’t wisten. You say no and den *I* say I play wif dis anyway.”
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Scarlette, loudly, to a twenty-something year old guy sagging his pants super low in the grocery store: “Hey, you not supposa wet udder people see your pannies! Pannies are for privacy!”
The best part about that is, she does not abide by that rule. She was just helpfully repeating what I say her all the time. I suppose she saw his very ill fitting pants and assumed that maybe his mommy hadn’t schooled him on the whole “privacy” issue.
Also apparent in this post: the fact that my child tries to talk herself out of trouble by being a little jokester.
(Disclosure: Scarlette’s outfit is c/o OshKosh, who are not sponsoring this post but are giving away a gift card to one of my readers here)
