If you follow me on twitter then you already know about some of these awkward moments. So this is like, your second helping of awkwardness.
– My neighbor is standing in his driveway practicing his golf swing. That sounds normal, until I tell you that it is raining.
– Jeff and I had a pillow fight. During said pillow fight, my glasses were bent. So I took them to Lenscrafters to be fixed. I was in the middle of talking to my sister when the girl asked me how they got bent and I absentmindedly replied "Oh, my husband hit me in the face." My sister busted out laughing and the girl looked at me with a horrified expression as I stammered "With a pillow! In bed! Not on purpose! He's not like, a wife beater. It was for fun. It was a fun thing."
– Upon meeting a friend of Natalie's for the first time on Friday night, I blurted out "I know I don't know you but my boobs aren't normally this big." The girls are used to me obsessing over the constant changes my hormones have on my body and updating them on the three days of the month I graduate from a training bra, but this particular girl was a total stranger to me. And I was wearing a blazer so it's not like anyone could even see or care about that fact.
– The thing about infertility is, sometimes when I meet people w/twins I
have an overwhelming urge to ask if I can have one. (I don't though)
– Two guys that were Jehovah's Witnesses came by my office the other day. I was feeling really nervous because I know some people are rude to them so I wanted to be extra nice. One of the guys pointed to my ring and politely asked if I was married. And I said "Oh, yes, and I have a chihuahua." Because apparently I also have an over sharing problem.
– A nice little old man just came by and gave me photos of our house that he took when it was covered in snow. He's walking down the street giving 4×6 prints to all of the neighbors. That isn't awkward at all, it's really thoughtful and kind, I just wanted to tell you about it.
