Tea party is Scarlette’s newest favorite game. Every week when I pick her up from my dad’s house I find them sitting on the back porch with tiny little teacups in hand. Lately she wants me to set her table “fancy” so that she can be like Fancy Nancy so the tea set she got for her tea-party themed birthday this year has been in heavy rotation.
I’m in the home stretch of writing for my first book which means I’ve been fairly absent around here because as it turns out, writing a book and a blog and generally making sure Scarlette stays out of shenanigans is a whole lot more work than I bargained for. And #stuffscarlettesays has been on a bit of a hiatus on account of how I decided that a certain chapter in said book would be way better if I included some of said shenanigans. Here are a few current favorites that didn’t make the book cut:
Scene: We are at the store and my sweet angel darling is acting up (shocking, I know.)
Me: Scarlette, you need to think about your actions. I am not moving this buggy until you apologize to Mommy.
Scarlette: Okay, I’m sorry. But What I really want to say is No.
Scene: Getting back in the car after a fifteen minute trip to the store and seeing her Tag reader toy.
Scarlette: Oh hi little Tag! I missed you so much while I was in dat store! Did you miss me? You did? It’s okay, I back now. My mommy made me buy new jammies. Oh! You want some jammies? You not can hab any. You just needa be nekky. Yeah.
Scene: J is trying to convince a very stubborn Scarlette to eat lunch while I leave to write.
Jeff: Scarlette, you need to take a bite.
Scarlette: No! You can’t say dat to me. Only Mommy can say dat to me. You need to go to work.
Scene: Riding in the backseat, having a full on conversation with her reflection in the mirror Anne Of Green Gables style
Scarlette: So my mommy say I can’t hab any more cwackers but I weally want some cwackers. And dat made Lucy so sad and she cwied and cwied and den she wost all her super powers. I hab some super powers. Yeah. I can’t hab any cwackers doe. I going to school in one month. Dese are my teeth. Dey all in my mouth.
Scene: Shopping for pajamas
Saleslady: Hi, my name is Kayla. Can I help you find anything today?
Scarlette: WAIT JUST A MINUTE HERE. YOU NAME NOT CAN BE KAYLA. DAT MY MOMMY NAME. AND SHE SAY I HAB TO GET SOME NEW JAMMIES. YEAH. WHAT YOUR UDDER NAME? DO YOU HAB ANY LEGOS?
♥
This morning on the way to my dad’s house Scarlette kept asking to listen to “dat one song I like.” I had my favorite 90/00s mix in and had no idea what she was requesting so I asked her to tell me more about the song and she said “You know, da one wif da man who says yeah and he sing about da birds. Da song about birds!”
I had no idea what she was talking about so I just let the cd play through and then all the sudden she started going “DIS DA SONG! DIS DA ONE I LIKE!” And I was super confused until she began singing along enthusiastically with Incubus like this: “PARDON ME WHILE I BIRDS INTO FLAMES!”
♥
Scarlette sweetly asked if she could “make a cwaft decowation for daddy.” SURE I said. Let’s use PAINT and GLITTER I said. I can handle a little paint and glitter mess. I was prepared for that. I was NOT prepared to spend the last ten minutes flushing out my child’s mouth because she ATE THE GLITTER. It’s not like I even took my eyes off of her. She poured the glitter carefully over the paint and then lifted the entire project to her face in what I thought was admiration of her handiwork and then she LICKED IT.
♥
At dinner Scarlette just randomly interrupted my mother and said “Oh don’t worry about me. I’ll get you your money.” And then went back to eating all nonchalantly while we attempted to decipher that.
♥
My child has taken to referring to herself as “Tyler.” In the third person. For example, she just came up to me and showed me her shoes and said “Tyler’s new shoes are the best. Tyler put them on all by herself.”
♥
We had to get out of the pool for a minute to “Think About Our Actions” and Scarlette said “Yeah, I not going to fink about my actions. I going to fink about my Daddy because dat will make me happy and den I will sing for all my fwiends because dat will make DEM happy!” And then she broke into a loud rendition of Let It Go.
(And this is what it looks like to put Scarlette to bed, part one. It is always an adventure. Literally.)
