It's time once again for "weird things people type in google that lead them to my blog." I quite like this little series, if only because it makes me think that on some level humanity as a whole must be just as completely awkward as I am.
1) "Nail stuck in garbage disposal" Actually, I can't fault them because I googled like crazy when I was trying to figure out how to remove the nail from our own garbage disposal (victory!) but what struck me was the sheer volume of people suffering from the same affliction.
2) "How do I fill out my bra?" I totally feel you, angsty thirteen year old girls. I hate to break it to you, but sometimes it just doesn't happen, in which case I recommend water bras and balloons filled with pudding a la the movie Now and Then.
3) "A boy asked me for my number what do i do" Well, if he is a respectable young man with whom you would like to engage in a proper relationship, then give him your number. If he is a creeper that you met on some internet site that your parents forbid you to go on, get off the computer, get some fresh air and try to avoid ending up on one of those 20/20 shows.
4) "I have moments when I feel really awkward and weird" Here's some good news, so does everyone else in the entire world. Except for Sarah Palin.
5) "How to know if there's going to be a flood?" Well in the Bible, God just straight up told Noah, but I imagine you could check the weather or something nowadays.
6) "How can I find out the volume of my house?" Personally I like to stand outside and yell at my house and then see how loudly it can yell back. (p.s. what in the heckfire are you even talking about?)
7) "What if a guy holds your hand?" I DON'T KNOW! I was completley inept at dating! I can't help you at all, I don't know why Google thinks I'm a junior high dating expert!
