While I was going through my old journals in order to accurately tell
our story, I discovered many interesting things about myself as follows:
In
junior high I was afraid that someone would find my journal and
distribute it throughout the school. So I used code names for everyone.
Very logical of me. No one reading my journal would have ever guessed
that I hated Amanda Lee for saying I looked like an inmate in my new
striped GAP sweater because I used a code name for her. Unless that is,
the person reading my journal flipped to the back, where I kept a list
of everyone and their code names.
In sixth grade I
discovered that girls were mean and boys were cruel and started praying
for God to change my face into a pretty one at night while I slept. Apparently, I had God confused
with Dr. 90210.
I also found the fake journal that I kept in ninth grade, the year I discovered that my mother snooped around my room. In the fake journal, I was a
really good kid who's only worry was her schoolwork and the occasional rambling about boys to keep it realistic. In the real
journal, I worried endlessly about when I was going to be able to fill
out my bra. Actually, that journal is pretty similar to the one I keep
now…
In
fourth grade I thought that if I had a little girl I'd name her
Ashleigha. In fifth grade I thought I'd name her Jaiyzah. In sixth
grade I decided I'd have twin girls and name them Lark and Dove. Obviously, sixth grade was a bad year for me. In
tenth grade I settled on Lainie (which I still love, but Jeff shot down.) Now there is a new name in my journal and the
problem with infertility is, probably one of our friends or family will
use that name before we ever even get pregnant. Lucky for them, I'm
very generous. I'd totally give up Jaiyzah. You're welcome.
I also learned that I am very inquisitive. Like, for example one time Jeff brought me a present from Disney World and I used exactly 9 pages to decipher what it meant. Nine pages. Front and back.
And I used to not only date the pages in my journal, but wrote down the time as well. The nine pages about my Disney World gift? I wrote that 1:14am. I have no idea where my car keys are but if you need to know how I was feeling at 7:28pm on the day I tripped in front of the cutest boy in school during gym class? Oh, I can tell you.
