Jeff asked me about the unopened pregnancy test sitting on the counter yesterday.
"I'm four days late" I replied.
He politely inquired as to why, then, was the test still sitting unopened on counter. A question to which I explained that pregnancy tests are stinkin expensive.
I plan to protest the cost of pregnancy tests. Because do you know who buys the most pregnancy tests? People like me, who are trying to get pregnant. And do you know how much money I've spent on pregnancy tests this year, not counting the times I've had to buy more because I couldn't read the line on the darn thing? I'll tell you how much. So much that I'm going to have to sell my firstborn to pay off the debt the pregnancy tests are putting me in. If Alanis Morissette had been trying to get pregnant at the time she wrote Jagged Little Pill, I guarantee this situation would have ended up in her song. It's way more ironic than a black fly in your chardonnay. C'mon Alanis, no one even knows what that means.
This morning I looked at the test and debated whether or not to open it, or just pull cash out of my wallet and pee on it. Because that's how infertility makes you feel about pregnancy tests.
Today Mother Nature let me know I could save the cash this time around, so I put the test back in the drawer. We'll try again next month, Clear Blue. Until then, I'm going to go watch The Duggars and eat a pan of brownies.
