- I swear Scarlette said purple. No one believes me. I was doing colors with her and after I said “purple” she said “puhpul” just as clear as day. Except for, you know, the baby lisp. I kept saying it and she kept repeating it. She’s never made the “p” sound before so I am certain she was mimicking me. But she won’t do it again and as she has yet to say “mama” or “dada” no one believes that she decided to say purple first. But she did. I know. My kid is a genius.
- Scarlette apparently misheard the lyrics to Santa Claus Is Coming To Town. I start singing to her “you better not pout, you better not cry” and she’s all “Woman, I will pout like I am Lisa Rinna pre-lip reduction surgery.” I thought y’all would like to see what that looks like. And also what her hair is doing these days.
- In case you are wondering why I’m posing with a piece of toilet paper, it’s because that’s what we do around here on Tuesdays. Just kidding. I wrote a post for L’Oreal on holiday makeup tips and how to make your lipstick stay on practically forever. You can read it here.
- The free wall calendar offer from Vista Print is back*. I know a bunch of y’all liked that deal the last time around so I thought I’d post it again. Shipping is about $5 and you can use 12 different photos. *That’s my affiliate link.
- Someone asked me if my baby was a boy or a girl.This has never happened to me. Turns out, I DO care.
- I had an allergic reaction the other day, causing me to break out in huge welts. I looked in the mirror and thought to myself “Self, I KNOW you didn’t have anything citrus. What could be the cause of this travesty?” This, of course, was after I shrieked in horror at the sight of my face and threw back a capful of Benedryl like it was a jello shot. Maybe. I’ve never done a jello shot. Frankly, they sound disgusting. Anyhow, later that day I poured out the rest of a drink I’d had the night before. I took the cap off the sweet tea and TWO SLICES OF LEMON FELL OUT. There are two obviously things to take from this: 1) Always look in the to-go cup from now on and 2) The BBQ people are trying to kill me. Oh, and that apparently I can’t tell when someone puts lemon in my drink if the cup isn’t see through.
- I was having a conversation with Cherany the other day about how mundane life is now that we are in quarantine. Most of my funny stories are the result of awkward interactions with random strangers in public, because I can’t seem to go anywhere without causing social mayhem. Not leaving the house ever is pretty much resulting in my blog being boring. On the plus side, Jeff’s holiday office party is likely to be the most human interaction I’ll have experienced at once in quite some time. So just wait for the day after that.
