A memory: remember this post where I kept having dreams that Scarlette was born and I didn't get to feed her for like, 12+ hours?
So in real life, while I was being prepped for a c-section I kept asking the nurses over and over when I could pump and they kept reassuring me that I could pump right after she was born.
This, folks, was a lie.
They wheeled me back into L&D after they delivered her and I continually asked them for a pump so that I could give her breastmilk. It went like this "How's my baby? When can I pump? How's my baby? When can I pump? How's my baby?…" I am not sure why no one ever thought it was important to tell me that my baby couldn't HAVE breastmilk immediately after birth, being that she weighed about a pound and a half and didn't have a fully formed digestive system. All I knew was that everyone had told me that breastmilk would be the best thing for her. They just left out the word eventually, which is a pretty important thing to mention to a woman in my situation.
So as it was, all I wanted to do was feed my baby and I kept demanding a breast pump as a nurse said "in just a minute, darlin" and then pumped me full of morphine that knocked me out for the next 12 hours.
My next lucid memory is of waking up the following day shrieking "My baby, I forgot to feed my baby! They starved her! I didn't get to pump!I DIDN'T GET TO PUMP!!"
I'm pretty sure my ensuing hysterics ensured the nurses never make that mistake again, it took quite awhile for them to convince me that she couldn't eat for a few days and that she was not starving and that I was not a terrible mom for passing out from drugs and not feeding her.
I was still kind of drugged up and I kept telling them "it's my nightmare, it's my nightmare" and I think they thought I meant I felt like it was a nightmare but I was all NO, literally I kept having nightmares that no one fed my baby for 12 hours after she was born.
My dream life is bizarre, y'all. But, I suppose it's better that part of the post came true than the part where Jeff dreamed that I ate our baby.
