This is an actual conversation that occurred, quite loudly, between me and the lady who processed my paperwork at the DMV last week:
DMV Lady: You’re thirty?! You got any kids?
KA: Yes, I have a two and a half year old
DMV Lady: How do you stay so small, girl?!
KA: Just genetics I guess (only slightly annoyed because, well, y’all know I hate being questioned about my size)
DMV Lady: I have a friend like you. She’s real small. She’s got a trick though. You know what you need to do? You need to wear two bras.
KA: Oh, I’m sorry, what?
DMV Lady: Two bras! What you do is, you wear two bras and it’ll make you look like you got bigger breasts and then you won’t look so small.
KA: Oh my gosh. I am wearing two bras right now. Like, literally, I currently have on two bras. That is my trick so obviously it’s not working.
DMV Lady: No girl, you need some padded bras. You gotta wear the real thick kind. Here’s your new license!
I can’t even make this stuff up y’all.
Also, there was a guy at the DMV who had written all the books of the bible on his belt with a sharpie. I can only assume that he took Ephesians 6:14 extremely literally.
So basically, my entire trip to the DMV was like my Shakira playlist. That guy’s hips don’t lie and we’re all lucky that my breasts are small and humble so we don’t confuse them with mountains.
