A few times a year I do a series of posts on what people typed into Google that led them to my blog. I like to follow this up with sarcastic commentary and a general air of what in the heckfire are people searching this stuff for?
Only this time I decided to google the phrases myself and see exactly what post on my blog their obscure google searches led them to. I now have a new favorite pastime called "discovering the internet is crazy."
"NICU twins greek yogurt" – I can't figure out why anyone would type this phrase into Google. I keep coming back to it and I've got no plausible explanation. Is someone putting greek yogurt ON their babies? I mean, I understand searching one thing at a time. I've even blogged about my extreme distate for greek yogurt. But the reason that someone would search for all four words together completely eludes me. Why someone would search for it ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTEEN TIMES is going to be one of the great mysteries of my life. That's right. 118.
"how sexy is the name Xavier?" – very sexy.
"babysitters club tiff" – There was no Tiff in The Baby Sitter's Club. You disgrace us all with that search. Which leads to this incredibly old post about The Baby Sitter's Club and my best friend Tiffani that probably leaves the searcher wondering "What in the heckfire did I just read?"
"apartment plunger maintenance" – I sincerely hope they had better luck with their apartment plunger maintenance than we did. That thing was a pain to maintain. You had to make sure it was always sitting over in it's little plunger holder and not out throwing midnight plunger raves with the bleach and the toilet brush. It was exhausting. Actually, I'm pretty sure that leads people to the time I talked about the maintenance man using our bathroom plunger on our kitchen sink, which most likely completely freaked out that new reader. *Waves*
"guy calls me kiddo" – This falls under the category of "What Do You Expect Google To Do About That?" I mean, this is something you say on the phone, with a friend. You're like, "I really like this guy but he keeps calling me kiddo" and you're friend is all "That's weird" and so on and so forth. Turns out this google search leads to a ton of people asking on message boards if it is creepy for the guy you are dating to call you kiddo. Luckily for them, I already answered that question. Yes.
"cut off finger scarlette" – Dear Scarlette, I am so sorry. Not just for cutting off part of your thumb, but for that fact that people search for it on the internet. Please don't grow up to hate me for being a mommy blogger.
"life has a way" – of sneaking up on you. I have no idea. That's not me. That's Alanis Morisette.
