Scarlette celebrates her first Christmas with a pacifier! She says "stupid ventilator tube getting in the way of my pacifier. I'll just hold it under the vent tube. I'm only 32 gestational weeks old but I am a GENIUS"
A few days ago Scarlette was having a very hard time regulating her breath. She was continuously setting off alarms as she desaturated. One of the nurses who specializes in developmental care told me studies have shown that babies are able to match their breathing patterns to their mothers. They do this by placing the baby on the mother or laying the baby next to the mother.
Neither of those options were available to me. So I stood next to Scarlette's bed and bent over to where I could lay my head by her, so that we were face to face. It was an incredibly awkward position and because of that, I wasn't sure if it would even work. I focused on having very calm breaths, softly talking to her. Her breathing got better. I stood there like that for two straight hours. And she did not desaturate one time.
When it came time for shift change (they kick everyone out of the NICU for an hour) I kissed her face, stood up and walked away. And immediately her oxygen level plummeted.
It was amazing to me. It broke my heart a bit because I just wanted to stay with her. I want to breathe for her, I want to make things easier for her, I want to take her pain. But it amazed me that when medicine went as far as it could go, something as simple as the soft rise and fall of my chest filled in the gap. The mother/child bond is beautiful.
Come now, come calvary, come breathe on me – Jennifer Knapp
