6:25 AM – Make salted caramel chai, read Known & Loved by for my morning devotion and do some work before Scarlette wakes up. Don’t let this pretty scene fool you. About three days a week I sleep in until Scarlette wakes me up. The rest of the time I try to get up before her so that I can start my day in peace. Yesterday I woke up to a basketball being hurled at my head and Scarlette saying “OH GOOD MORNING MOMMY I GOT YOU DIS COCONUT FOR BWEAKFAST!” Hence the importance of attempting to wake up before her.
7:45 AM – Breakfast time. Waffles, smoothie and blueberries for Scarlette, bagels slathered in cream cheese and jam for me. I also have a smoothie to make up for the cup of chai this morning and the cup of coffee I’m about to have the very second that I finish this smoothie. We get dressed, which involves Scarlette insisting that she does not need to wear pants. Discover that is code for “I want to wear these shorts that are too big for me and nothing else will even remotely satisfy me.” Asks me to do her hair “wike Thomas da twain.” Have no idea how to make toddler hair look like Thomas The Train. Wing it.
8:25 AM – Chore time. Scarlette makes her bed and waters the plants.
8:35 AM – Outside time. Scarlette plays while I read/check facebook on my kindle. Then I am appointed Princess Anna and banished to the backyard while Scarlette stands at the top of the porch steps and yells “GET OUT OB HERE ANNA!” Also sings a rousing rendition of Let It Go while throwing pine straw at Lucy Dog. Scarlette, not me. That would be awkward. I prefer to sing “Do You Wanna Build A Snowman” while throwing pine straw at Lucy Dog. Asks if she can have “A snack picnic outside.”
11:45 – Lunch, which is spinach tortellini because it basically only involves pouring pasta sauce over spinach tortellini.
12:35 – Leave for toddler ballet class. Arrive and remember that I actually signed her up for a different day of the week this session. Scarlette looks around at the empty room and says “HEY WHERE ALL MY FWIENDS GO?!”
12:50 PM – Decide to swing by the store on the way home since we have time to kill. Find a bunch of cute things for Scarlette’s Easter basket and put them in the cart when she isn’t looking. Feel very excited about the nature kit for my little junior scientist. Scarlette has a seven minute long conversation with the cashier about why the number sixteen lights up in the lane we are in, and why she doesn’t like the number sixteen, she only likes the number three because she is three and HEY WHAT IS DAT DAT YOU ARE PUTTING IN DAT BAG?! IS DAT SOME EASTER EGGS?! CAN I FIND DOSE IN MY HOUSE IN MY EASTER BASKET? Easter present cover is partially blown.
1:58 PM- Put Scarlette down for rest time. Listen to her loudly read her Pete The Cat book to her invisible friend Bob The Tomato.
2:00 PM – Do some writing and blog work in between tackling the mountain of laundry that my child generates. I only have one kid. I do not understand this.
4:00 PM – Am super excited to open this package from the UPS man containing my friend Kristen’s newest book, Rhinestone Jesus. Am not so excited that Lucy Dog woke up Scarlette with all of her frantic barking at the UPS man. Scarlette jumps up and down next to me yelling “IS DAT A PACKAGE FOR ME? IS IT A SUPWISE? WHAT IN DERE? IS DAT A BOOK? I WIKE DAT BOOK!”
4:05 PM – Decide to make homemade granola bars. I could tell you that I decided upon this activity because I’m an awesome wife and these happen to be my husband’s favorite snack. Or because I believe strongly in allowing your children to work alongside you in the kitchen from a young age. And both of those things would be accurate but really it has more to do with the fact that I am in desperate need of some chocolate. Wrapping chocolate chips in homemade granola bars seems like a good way to justify this.
4:15 – Every time I hand Scarlette something to mix in she pats my arm and said “OH FANK YOU SO MUCH SUGARMOMMY.”
4:45 PM – Wipe all of the pollen off the playset that has accumulated since we were out here just a few hours ago. Watch Scarlette “Swide wike a penguin” on her belly. Make another snack. Lucy Dog steals a graham cracker. Tears ensue.
5:20 – J’s mother calls. I have her on speakerphone and she tells Scarlette that she is going to come to her house this weekend. Scarlette answers “Oh, well dat would be bery nice, Nana.”
5:45 PM – Ask Scarlette to help me fold laundry. She helpfully crumples all of the washcloths into little balls and then exclaims “I DID IT MOMMY, I DID IT! I SUCH A BIG HELPER!”
5:55 PM – Secretly refold all of the wash cloths.
6:02 – Scarlette has a coughing fit. I ask if she is okay and she responds “Well, yeah, I okay. I just hab dis cough in my mouth.”
6:30 PM – Eat dinner while watching Wheel Of Fortune. Scarlette is getting really good at this game. In between bites she keeps yelling “TWO Ns! TWO WETTER N! DA WETTER L! I BUY SOME VOWELS AEIOU!” I beat everyone and retain my title as Best Wheel Of Fortune Player In Our House. It is sacred to me. Bedtime routine ensues. Spend much time chasing a half nekkid toddler through the house.
8:00PM – Scarlette opens her bedroom door JUST SO SHE CAN SLAM IT AT ME. Because I took away her octopus. Because she threw it at me. Because I wouldn’t rub her back. Because she refused to lay down for me to rub her back after asking me to rub her back. Eventually I tag out and let J finish bedtime. Contemplate soothing tantrum nerves with moscato, am distracted by bag J left on kitchen counter.
8:01 PM – J brought me Cadbury Eggs! This is way better than wine.
8:30 PM – J and I watch some Netflix and I eat one of the Cadbury eggs he brought home for me because I am pretending I did not have copious amounts of coffee today and counting this as my sweet. Besides, they were a gift so it would be rude of me NOT to eat them. Plural. Right? Right.
9:30 PM – I work on blog stuff for a little while, shower, debate blowing my hair dry because seriously I have a LOT of hair, decide to sleep in braids instead. J calls me Heidi. Read my kindle in bed until lights out. Which is way too late. I probably will sleep in tomorrow which means it would be in my best interest to hide all of the basketballs.
