The other night I made this complicated recipe where you do lots of things like flattening and cheese stuffing and then wrap the whole thing up with twine so it stays in a twirl shape as it cooks.
It looked awesome. And it didn’t taste half bad either.
Halfway through our meal, Jeff made a face and pulled something out of his mouth. “Is this…ROPE?” he asked me
Apparently, you’re supposed to remove that before you serve it or something. People should put stuff like that in the instructions.
Have I ever told y’all about our first married Christmas, when I decided that I would take on cooking the ham because I WAS A WIFE and therefore, a grownup? Nevermind that I’d never cooked a ham before, nor mastered simpler things such as macaroni or baked potatoes. I was under the illusion that becoming a wife would magically make me domestic.
Five years later, I’m only ever asked to bring bread to family gatherings. Store bought bread. Not homemade biscuits. Not even canned biscuits. Bread.
This is because when I was seasoning the ham, I added apple cider, cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves. Which in theory, sounds delicious. Only I did not know that cloves were a spice. I thought that it meant cloves as in “of garlic.” Yes. I added garlic cloves to my Christmas ham. Jeff still can’t talk about it without cringing slightly.
Obviously my culinary prowess has not improved with age.
But I did make that headband she’s wearing. So there’s that.
