1) Can y’all even see that picture? Because I totally can’t.
2) There is nothing better than a box of junior mints in your freezer.
3) Sunday has been declared the day that the Christmas tree must come down. I did not issue this declaration.
4) I live in the country y’all. I can not stress this enough. But I will. Yesterday while I was getting my oil changed, a young guy dressed in overalls and a cowboy hat said to me “I reckon you’d look right pretty sittin up in my truck.” I reckon he was correct because yesterday I was having a really great hair day, but I bet he’d retract that invitation if he saw me in the morning.
5) When you can’t have babies and you talk about it on the internet, people send you really personal emails. Some of them are beautiful bible verses or books that I look up, some of them are tips or recipes that have me furiously whipping up cinnamon and celery root smoothies, and some of them are um, graphic. Seriously, some of them are as shocking as that time I transferred from a private baptist college to a public university and discovered that my gender studies minor now included videos of people in various states of undress. And by “various states” I mean nekkid. The people in that class nicknamed me “chastity” because I refused to watch the videos. I wish I could tell you I was joking, but I’m not. (Although I don’t even blush at those emails anymore, I’m all “this email said they got pregnant…”)
