I’m a total Olympic fan-girl. I don’t even know what comes over me but every four years I get completely obsessive about the summer games. I rarely watch sports on television and then when it’s Olympic season I’m all “Oh! It’s synchronized diving! I LOVE synchronized diving!”
It’s the only time Jeff will acquiesce to watch gymnastics with me and he always has a lot of questions. Sort of like how when I watch basketball with him I’m all “So was that a touchdown? What inning is this?” Apparently, Jeff doesn’t think the balance beam looks that hard. I KNOW, RIGHT?!
So as the former gymnast in this house, I took it upon myself to demonstrate a balance beam routine. And then he was all “GET OFF THE EDGE OF THE BATH TUB BEFORE YOU KILL YOURSELF.”
Scarlette and I did some crafts to get in Olympic spirit around here. If they look like an almost two year old made them, that’s because an almost two year old made them. Seriously, do you ever look at crafts on Pinterest and get all suspicious and think to yourself “Self, there is no way a two year old made that eerily realistic marshmallow replica of the Mona Lisa. Probably someone paid Martha Stewart to make that.”
We decided to make an Olympic torch and a gold medal. And by “we” I mean me because when I said “Scarlette! Do you want to have arts and crafts time?!” she yelled “Elmo!” So there’s that.
She finger painted the paper towel roll and the yogurt lid. Scarlette, I mean. Not Martha Stewart. Then we smeared glue on both. Turns out, my child is a total paste eater. And also a paint eater. WHY WON’T YOU EAT FOOD, YOU ADORABLE LITTLE WEIRDO?!
I totally saved orange tissue paper for this but I have no idea where it has disappeared to in this house. It’s like the bermuda triangle in my craft space right now. She crumpled up the red paper and shook the glitter onto the yogurt lid. Note: It’s totally not safe to let kids play with vintage glass glitter. I have really got to get some more kid-friendly craft supplies. So I had to pour clear epoxy over the yogurt lid to seal it when we finished. She was not super patient about that because she saw sparkly stuff and was all “PRITTY! PRITTY! PRITTY!”
Here are two Olympic facts: A) my baby is the cutest gold medalist and B) NBC is producing the worst coverage I have ever seen of the summer games. Am I right or am I right?