It’s been a long time since I’ve done a post on “weird things people google that lead them to my blog” and so here are my favorites from 2013.
In case you are wondering how I know this information, I have analytics installed, which shows me exactly what people type into search engines that led them to click on my blog. Most of the time it is normal things that I have actually blogged about “How To Make Sock Bun Curls” or “Micropreemie Birth Stories.” But sometimes I can not figure out why google decided to send some people to my blog when they type in things like this:
“Best Fail Ever” – It is very concerning to me that the phrase “best fail ever” leads people directly to my blog.
“Should I Drink This Tea?” – No. I’m no expert on tea or anything, although I am southern and do know a thing or two about a good jar of sweet sun tea, but just the fact that you felt the need to google this information tells me that you should definitely, under no circumstances, drink the tea.
“Lizol Kills Spider” – this one took me a little while to figure out but eventually I realized that they most likely meant “Lysol” and then I remembered that I wrote this post about that time I used an entire can of Lysol in a valiant effort to kill a spider that stood between me and the front door. Other variations of this search include “Will Lysol Kill Spiders?” and the answer is, yes, yes it will if you use it correctly. And the correct use for spider killing is to empty an entire can on said spider and then use the can to smash it repeatedly.
“Who Is Jan?” – Well, that is a really good question. Here’s the thing: there are a lot of people named Jan in the world. Additionally, I would assume there are also many animals and perhaps inanimate objects named Jan. My personal favorite Jan is Jan Brady and my least favorite Jan is Jan from The Office. I hope this helps you on your endeavor to find out who Jan is, unless you are Jan and this was a purely existential question in which case I recommend posing it to someone other than Google.
“Living In Tennesee Pros And Cons” – I do actually remember writing a post about the pros and cons of living in Tennessee but I feel very badly for the ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY EIGHT PEOPLE that were trying to make an informed life decision about where to live and instead were directed to my list about how sometimes the air smells like a llama farm. Because we used to live next to a llama farm.
“What Happens If You Leave Nair On Too Long” – Actually, the thirty three people that googled this are probably thanking me profusely for putting that information on the internet back in 2005. This is what I do, y’all. I change lives on this blog.
“Greek Yogurt Gives Me Gas” – Well, my advice to you would be not to eat greek yogurt prior to important events such as first dates, your wedding, giving a speech in front of a large group of people, or sitting in a silent room to take an examination. My other advice is to just stop eating greek yogurt all together because it is disgusting and you can read about my very strong feelings on the subject here. See? LIFE CHANGING.
“Reba McIntyre’s Sister” – This has now been googled twice, once by the person who originally was searching and once by me because I could not for the life of me think of a reason this would bring someone to my blog. But it totally led to this post. Google knows me better than I know myself.
“Kayla Aimee Rumor” – Stop it, internet! Or at least, tell me what the rumor is. I mean, seriously, this has been showing up in my blog stats for SIX YEARS. That is the very definition of why I am neurotic.
P.S. If you are interested in seeing past random google searches that led people to this blog, here are a few more posts full of random funny: 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009.
