This morning I decided to fix myself some coffee. I was holding the whipped cream in one hand and the pumpkin spice creamer in the other. We all know where this is going, right? I shook the creamer, thinking it was the whipped cream. I am now covered in creamer. On the positive note, I see no need for perfume today, seeing as I now smell like a pumpkin.
A few days ago I went to pour myself a glass of juice and mistakenly shook up a 2liter of Dr. Pepper, thinking it was the V8. Do you know when I realized my mistake? When I OPENED THE DR. PEPPER. The one I had just shaken. Right.
What I'm trying to say is, if you are coming to my house for the holidays it is probably in your best interest NOT to ask me to fix you a drink. Unless you like wearing your eggnog.
ETA: While driving to work, I decided I did not want to smell like pumpkin after all and sprayed myself with perfume. Unfortunately, I left the lid off of my coffee cup this morning and now said coffee tastes like Ralph Lauren Blue.
Also, in answer to your sweet emails: I am not pregnant. I meant for my post title to read as IF I WAS PREGNANT AT LEAST I'D HAVE SOMETHING TO BLAME THIS INSANITY ON. Don't worry, if I get myself knocked up I will NOT be subtle about letting you know. In fact, you'll probably get a phone call. You know, from when I randomly call people out of the phone book to share the good news.
