The other day I was convinced I heard a rattlesnake in my house, and then I discovered that it was just the wrapper of a Hershey’s Kiss stuck to my foot.
Also, I tried cleaning my glasses three times before I realized that the lenses were NOT severely smudged, I just already had my contacts in.
That’s why Jeff is glad is he married to me, because I’m so logical and clear-headed and not the sort of person who jumps on the couch and yells “OMG RATTLESNAKE!” when there has never even been a snake in her house and also rattlesnakes sound nothing like tiny tin foil wrappers.
Scarlette has started talking more and more, which leaves Jeff and I raising our eyebrows at each other over her pig-tailed head because the things she says are hilarious. To us, her parents. Like, the other morning I asked her if she slept well and she said “Waahll ya, I ha goo dweems” (“Well yeah, I had good dreams”) while patting the top of her head. And when I asked her what she dreamed about, she said “Muggys. Shumpan on my beyd” (“Monkeys. Jumpin’ on my bed”) all non-chalant like, who doesn’t dream about monkeys?
She dropped her cup of milk and then looked up at us, splaying her fingers and striking her arms out. “OWH MAY-UN!” she yelled, wrinkling her nose.
Every morning when I go in to get her out of bed I say “Good Morning Punkin’ Pie!” I’ve been saying that since I was being buzzed through glass doors to greet her in the NICU. That is what her nurses called her and it stuck.
I opened the door and before I could draw back the curtains she rubbed her eyes and called out “MONIN’ PIE!”
I thought about that and about how she said “Oh Man!” with such fervor and dramatic hand gestures and a slightly southern accent. And I had a dawning realization that oh my gosh. It’s me she spends most of the day with and so it’s me that she mimics the most.
Which means that Jeff really has no idea just how much potential crazy his future holds.
*I won’t actually cut you, don’t sue me.
