You know how babies pick stuff up off the floor and put it in their mouths? Yeah, not my baby. I don’t know why. Maybe the Lord was like “You know, this mother has had quite a bit of stress already. Let’s have her baby just skip that whole eating-stuff-off-the-floor stage.” Or maybe it’s because my house is so meticulously clean that there isn’t a single speck of dirt on the floor for her to try and consume. I crack myself up.
I thought it might possibly have to do with the fact that it took six entire weeks to coerce her into eating a Puff without spitting it out and crying. Or the fact that once she decided she liked Puffs, she still preferred us to deposit them into her waiting mouth as though she were the Queen of Sheba rather than pick them up with her fingers. “Maybe she just doesn’t like picking stuff up and that’s why she doesn’t put stuff in her mouth” I thought.
It’s also possible that she’s a genius.
For whatever reason, she just doesn’t do it. Which, I must say, is awesome for me.
Or at least, WAS awesome for me. Until last night, when I saw her hand go from the floor to her mouth and I thought to myself “SELF! WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CLEANED THIS FLOOR?! SHE COULD BE EATING ANYTHING!”
And then I was all “SCARLETTE! WHAT IS IN YOUR MOUTH?! SHOW MOMMY WHAT’S IN YOUR MOUTH! OPEN! OPEN!”
And as I pried her tiny lips apart gently coaxed her to open her mouth, determined to rid it of a penny, or a piece of doggie food, or a slip of paper or one of the hundreds of other choking hazards that were flashing through my mind, she reached in and pulled out…
A Puff.
Those things she’s allowed to eat, though preferably not off the floor.
She looked very confused by the whole event, as though she was thinking “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU WOMAN?! I THOUGHT YOU WANTED ME TO PUT THESE IN MY MOUTH. WHAT THE HECK WAS ALL THAT CLAPPING AND CHEERING ABOUT THAT FIRST TIME I DID IT? MAKE UP YOUR MIND, CRAZY LADY!”
Then Lucy snagged the soggy Puff from her fingers and ran off under the table to savor it.
Today I swept and mopped the floor.
And that’s what life looks like in our house.
