We have an ant problem. If you follow me on Twitter, you might have deduced this last week, when my tweets read something like: OMG THE ANTS! HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS OF ANTS!
I have an issue with ants and I blame that issue on the Scholastic Book Fair. Every year the Scholastic Book Fair paraded into our elementary school library, mocking us with it's selection of age appropriate books that the library itself did not carry. There was a certain set of books we all coveted, creatively titled "Scary Stories." I don't even like scary stories but those were the books the cool kids bought. So in the third grade, I took the $5 that my mother intended for me to buy Anne of Green Gables with and I bought Scary Stories Three.
In that book was a story about a boy who was killed by ants. Not because he was allergic. BECAUSE THEY PLOTTED TO KILL HIM. The wrote the word DIE in his ant farm and then crawled into his bed at night and WENT INTO HIS MOUTH AND CHOKED HIM TO DEATH.
Really? REALLY SCHOLASTIC BOOK FAIRS? I can't fathom why anyone would give a child that book unless they HATE CHILDREN.
So you can see the problem I had yesterday when I noticed a line of ants headed into my scrapbook room. OH NO YOU DIDN'T ANTS. You can take my kitchen but you will never take my patterned paper. I followed the line of ants up the ironing board. I don't iron clothes but 2×3 pieces of vintage fabric for scrapbook layouts, those I iron. The ants, hundreds of ants were INSIDE MY IRON. There was nothing inside my iron but water. I do not understand this. I opened the spout and ants came pouring out so quickly that I frantically threw the iron in the bathroom sink and turned the faucet on in an attempt to drown them. I probably can't use that iron any more.
Then, when the ants were down to a number that didn't make me have a complete panic attack, I took a picture for the people that think I make stuff like this up (coughcoughJohnMcGukin). Is this normal? What do I do? P.S. I googled and found this similar story, and yeah, my iron looked like that. She was braver than I in her picture taking.
