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winter wedding

...to peek into our lives five years ago today. This is part of the highlight reel from our wedding video.  Scarlette and I curled up on the couch and watched it this morning. She really liked seeing Mommy and Daddy on television. Me? I was struck by the innocence of our love, watching the two of us simply in it, giddy with excitement to start this life path with one another. I remember believing that we could weather any storm if we took shelter together, but you never imagine vows of "in sickness or in health" wrapping themselves around your only child. Grief and sorrow and depression are strong and pull powerful on the subjects in their … [Read more...]

Girl Meets Boy: Finally

(Thank you for reminiscing with me. The rest of the story is here) The house looked like a story book, garlands draped from the porch, red and green lights twinkling and oversized candy canes dotting the sidewalk. I drove past slowly and then made a u-turn. I didn't want to look at Christmas lights alone. I wanted to look at them with Jeff. I made my way back to his house, thinking about our conversation. "I don't want you to think it's an ultimatum, I'd told him, it's not, really, it's just that I'm afraid I feel more for you and I'm not sure I want to be emotionally in a different place than you..or you know, that thing we haven't said … [Read more...]

Girl Meets Boy: Patience

(The rest of the story is here)I stretched and rubbed the ache in my neck. I'd lost count of how many nights I'd slept on the waiting room floor of the ICU. Too many. I rolled over and touched his shoulder gently. He'd been there every night as well. He'd been sleeping at the hospital with me, leaving early in the morning to go to class and returning with dinner. My aunt walked in as he kissed my forehead. "I think that boy loves you" she told me after he was gone. The days ran into each other, all the same. I don't remember much until the day my dad woke up. Then he was transferred to a hospital an hour away. … [Read more...]

Girl Meets Boy: If I Hold Your Hand

(Parts 1- I-have-lost-count-I-told-you-it-was-a-really-long-story here!)I had no idea what the movie was about. Airplanes maybe. He'd suggested we watch it when we arrived back at my house. Despite a heavy presence of Leonardo DiCaprio I couldn't focus because Jeff had shifted on the couch so that I was resting against his legs. He'd always kept his distance with me physically. We'd watched plenty of movies together, him tucked safely away from me at the other end of the sofa.I was contemplating this new development when he touched my hair, letting the strands fall through his fingers. He carefully pulled me closer to him, his … [Read more...]

Girl Meets Boy: Dinner And A Movie

(Parts 1-5 can be read by scrolling down. My link button hates me, sorry)I was glad that Jeff had forgotten his phone. He'd have to come back over to get it, which meant he would definitely show up to go to church with me the next day. I hadn't been able to talk to him much at the party. I wanted to know what was going on in his life.I chattered incessantly as we drove north. It was a long drive and I was excited for him to meet the youth group I was leading. I loved those kids, I told him. I was glad that they let me stay with them after the youth pastor (who also happened to be my ex) left. I don't think I could have handled … [Read more...]

Girl Meets Boy: I’m Gonna Throw A Party

(My computer is being wonky, but you can scroll down to see parts 1-4)Pink and blue scribbles filled the pages of my dayplanner. I'd gone from avoiding everyone to filling my time with extra curricular activities in an attempt to mask the excruciating pain I was in. At home though, I still cried myself to sleep. I needed something, anything to distract me. That's when I started writing. I stumbled across a blog written by Ali Edwards and thought that starting a blog would be a fun project. I had no idea what blogging was then, I just knew that the more I wrote about what I was feeling, the more cathartic it was for me. We were sitting … [Read more...]

Girl Meets Boy: Maybe This Time

If you are just joining in: part one and part two and part threeI put his letters in a box and pushed it to the back of the closet. The photo of the two of us at graduation was replaced by an 8x10 glossy of me dancing with a boy he didn't want me dating. It wasn't fair, I had decided, to have my heart divided. If I was going to be in this then I was going to really be in it. Without secretly pining after Jeff as I had been in previous relationships. And so I cut him out completely.Over two years had passed. This boy was charming and funny and he made me feel beautiful. Two years of a storybook romance and I loved him. I had thrown … [Read more...]

Girl Meets Boy: Girls Meets Another Boy

Writing part one and part two made me feel all romantic. I even cooked dinner for Jeff last night. A few months had passed since the phone calls stopped. Since I quit saving him a seat a church. Since I stopped waiting for him to walk me to my car. Things had changed. Tiffani and I had moved home and enrolled in the nearby state university. We were studying for the world's hardest geography test (which obviously I failed) when I saw him cross the campus green. "I'm going to just ask him" I told her as I stood to follow him to his car. I reached his door just seconds before him and carefully composed my expression before I … [Read more...]

Girl Meets Boy: Friendship

Thanks for your sweet comments so far! Part One is here.A row of bright blue lockers outside of Ms. Shellnut's class is where you could find us. We each had our own locker but because we were highly logical high school seniors, we decided that the five of us girls should share a tiny half locker in a prime location towards the front of the school. Eventually it became The Meeting Place and before long the boys were crowding us, passing notes through shared textbooks and lingering until the bell sent us off to class.The lockers are how I found out he was taking her to prom. A scribbled note in a psychology book, all of us filling in our … [Read more...]

Girl Meets Boy : Meeting Jeff

Since it is the month of my anniversary, I wanted to post our story. It is long and will have to be posted in portions and personally, I think it is beautiful. When I was 17 all of my friends went away to winter church camp in late December. I am not sure why I didn't go that year as I'd gone each year previous. In any case, I was sitting at home alone working on a Beth Moore bible study and was stumped over one of the verses I was reading. I decided to call my Bible study teacher and ask her about it. She just happened to be Jeff's mother.I didn't know Jeff then. He had briefly dated one of the girls in my circle of friends … [Read more...]