The summer after my freshman year of college I worked at a daycare in the Wobbler room. The wobblers were the babies that had just started walking, the ones that teetered around looking all cute and baby drunk.
It's imperative to the story that you know these children were not very verbal. All under the age of two, their vocabulary consisted mostly of the words "MINE!" and the occasional "PWEESE" when I passed out milk and fruit slices. A few of the older kids could string together short sentences but overall they just ate and cried and played with blocks.
It was a regular day like any other when I put K.J. up on the changing table. I went about changing his diaper when he suddenly grinned at me with the sweetest smile I've ever seen and then announced "I have a big pen!s"
I dropped the Wet Wipes and stared at him in shock. "Did he just say what I think he said?" I asked my co-worker. He laughed a little baby laugh and then repeated himself, just as pleased as punch.
Later that day I pulled his parents aside and informed them of K.J's proclamation. I was a young college kid and a little nervious about relaying this information to them.
"Oh yes, his mother said calmly, we tell him that."
I stared at her blankly for a moment.
"I'm sorry, what?" I asked her.
She went on to explain. Apparently, they thought it was important to instill their son with hefty dose of self esteem. And apparently the fact that he was ONE AND A HALF YEARS OLD did not matter to them. Nor did the fact that there are many, many, MANY other ways to help foster your child's self esteem. Like, complimenting their manners, for instance. Or the nice way they shared with their friends. Or telling them they are special. Pretty much anything OTHER than telling your not-yet-a-toddler child that they have a big pen!s.
Now, I don't want to be judgemental. But that woman was crazy, right?
*Regarding the spelling of pen!s: I'm not a total prude but google sends some insane stuff to my blog and I'm not taking any chances here, people.
