(This is what it is like to live in my house, y’all.)
I decided that I wouldn’t write about what I lovingly refer to as “adventures in potty training” here lest I embarrass the future Scarlette who reads this blog. That being said, I’m totally fine with sharing things that are embarrassing for me. Like the fact that I myself have used a teeny, tiny little princess potty WAY MORE TIMES than any adult woman should ever sit on a toddler potty, ever. I’M REALLY TRYING TO MAKE THIS APPEALING, Y’ALL.
Although I have to say that I am a big fan of the fact that our potty cheers for us after we do our business. I appreciate validation. And when I say “we” I mean “me” because thus far I’m the only action that potty chair is getting. Also, this plan has backfired because now when Scarlette wants to hear the potty cheer she just pushes me towards it and says “YEAH! UM, OKAY MAMA TURN IT ON!” so there’s that.
Obviously I needed a reward after all the potty training I’ve been accomplishing ON MYSELF so I asked Jeff to fix me a cup of ice cream while he was in the kitchen.* I should tell you that ever since I read the book 7 I made the decision that we needed to be serious about recycling. The problem with this is that I am somewhat slightly neurotic and also that nobody understands me.
I heard a faint hiss and then Jeff asked “Honey, WHY? WHY did you put the empty container of whipped cream back in the fridge?”
(Clearly he finds me incredibly charming and is never frustrated by my tendency to return items to the fridge that he calls “empty” and I call “still containing a swig.” One of us is a glass-half-full kinda girl person, that’s what I’m saying.)
I quickly pondered how I could blame this on the baby but could see no viable option there so I just told him the truth and answered
“Um, okay Jeff BECAUSE I wanted to recycle it but I wasn’t exactly sure how you clean out an empty can of whipped cream. Like, you can’t just fill it with water or something. And I didn’t have time to stop and look up how you clean one of those. And you get annoyed when I leave things out on the counter that need to be recycled but you don’t even ever use the whipped cream so I figured that if I stuck it back in the refrigerator you would never even know that it was empty! And it worked because that can has been empty for like, three weeks because I totally forgot to ever look up if I actually could recycle it or not and then it’s possible that I may have forgotten that it was in there on account of how I have been making homemade whipped cream because you made me watch Food Inc.”
He stared blankly at me for a few seconds and then he was like “I am married to a hoarder. You hoard potential recyclables.”
And then I was all “Um, it’s IN THE BIBLE, JEFF.”
And then he was all “And NOW it’s in the trashcan.”
I accepted that with grace and dignity because of how he was really sweet to think about putting whipped cream on my ice cream for me.
(But not really because then he left to play tennis and I looked up all about whipped cream cans on the internet and proceeded to dig it out of the trash in order to recycle it. And I would just like to point out that according to this INSTRUCTIONAL VIDEO about HOW TO RECYCLE WHIPPED CREAM CANS that I found on youtube, FOUR THOUSAND OTHER PEOPLE WANTED TO LEARN HOW TO DO THE SAME EXACT THING so I am not the crazy one here.)
*A cup because I feel as though a bowl is too large for three scoops of ice cream, obviously.
