So Yahoo asked me to try out their style guides and then share my opinion. And it always makes me laugh a bit when people ask me to write about style because I don’t consider myself stylish, really. I mean, in sixth grade I wore a catsuit to school. Unironically. And basically I just wear the same thing every day. Tee-shirt, cardigan, jeans, ballet flats. Or if it’s cold outside, tee-shirt, sweater, jeans, boots.
Anyhow, while I was reading through their style section I came across this article called #StyleHack: How To Break Your Jeans In The Proper Way. This is why I am not fashionably inclined, I had no idea there was a proper way.
I mean, I can imagine that my way, which involves pulling them on straight out of the dryer and jumping up and down in our laundry room until they are snugly over my hips is probably very un-proper and not at all ladylike.
Then I read the article which says that the correct way to wear jeans is to never wash them.
I can not even get on board with that.
And I grew up in the nineties, where breaking in your jeans meant cutting holes in them, rubbing the hem in the dirt, and pairing them with an oversize flannel and some Timberland boots. Grunge was a great look for everyone. SO MUCH COMFORT.
Apparently instead of washing your jeans you are supposed to do things like put them in the freezer. The whole point of me writing this article is to try out the things that they suggested but the idea of putting my dirty pants in the freezer skeeves me out. That is where I keep food that I want to eat. So I had to take some food out in order to try this because I did not want my dirty jeans to touch my food. I don’t even like my food to touch my other food when it is on my plate.
Also, I did not feel as though this did anything except make my pants very cold.
The next suggestion was to spray your jeans with vodka. I did not even try this on account of how I have to wear said jeans to teach Sunday School and did not want to walk smelling like a lush. Actually, I think vodka might be odorless.
Okay, so I didn’t try this one because I don’t actually own any vodka because I prefer to drink things like Blackberry Merlot and I felt like that probably would stain my jeans, maybe. So I just spritzed them with some fabric freshener and then my legs smelled like lavender and vanilla.
And the the last instruction was to just toss your jeans in the dryer inside out. This seemed the most logical thing to do.
It seemed even more logical to do it after washing them.
I’m sorry y’all. I can not get on board with not washing my jeans. First things first, I’m the realest. And also I have a four year old. Do you know how grimy my jeans get? Tiny little four year old hands are wrapping themselves around my legs all day long. I am basically covered in preschool bacteria and no amount of freezer burn is going to freeze that off.
Also, not washing my jeans makes the bottoms all stretch out and then it’s all saggy in the bum area. I am pretty sure that Princess Kate would agree with me that is certainly not proper and I feel confident about this because I spend a lot of time drooling over her outfits and studying royal protocal JUST IN CASE.
So I’m not fashionably in style, I suppose. But I did enjoy the Yahoo gift guide on the best beauty products for the hair obsessed. Because my hair, that is something I am totally okay with not washing every day. In fact, I might be a little overly obsessed with dry shampoo. And apparently there is a shampoo called Mermaid Hair and so obviously we all need that.
Thank you Yahoo! for sponsoring this post. While this was a sponsored opportunity from Yahoo!, all content and opinions expressed here are my own. I feel as though this might be obvious on account of how I might have thrown a little bit of shade at their denim style hack while talking about my #YahooStyle.
