A bird has built a nest on our front porch and we spend a lot of time watching her sit on her eggs. We’re waiting for her to come back when a fly lands on the window.
KA: Look Scarlette! Do you see the birdie?
SCARLETTE: No. But I shee dat tuhrtle. Points to the fly.
*
I overreact to something Scarlette does. I know this probably shocks all of you.
KA: Scarlette, Mommy’s sorry that she raised her voice like that. I overreacted.
SCARLETTE: Um, yeth Mommy. You did.
*
I ask Scarlette to come help me with something but don’t tell her exactly what. She follows me into the bedroom.
SCARLETTE: Hi Daddy!
J: Hi Scarlette, what are you doing?
SCARLETTE: Oh, um, I jusht doin shum Mommy shtuff.
*
I don’t even want to talk about mealtime with Scarlette right now. Except I will, because this conversation is flippin hilarious.
KA: Scarlette, you need to eat your dinner
SCARLETTE: NO! I DON’T WANT TO! I DON’T WANT EAT DA DINNER!
KA: I understand but it is time to take some bites.
SCARLETTE: Well, Shcaryut shay time put back in da fwidge.
KA: You want me to put your dinner in the refrigerator?
SCARLETTE: Yeth. In da fwidge.
KA: It’s not time to put dinner in the fridge, it’s time to put it in your tummy!
(Scarlette starts sobbing hysterically)
KA: Scarlette, what is wrong?
SCARLETTE: I SHO HONGWY! I SO HONGWY FOR DA DINNER!
KA: THE. DINNER. IS. SITTING. RIGHT. IN. FRONT. OF. YOU.
*
Scarlette lifts up our tablecloth and colors with a yellow crayon all over the table.
KA: Scarlette! Why did you color on the table?
SCARLETTE: I don’t wike it. I wan it da yewwow.
*
Scarlette spills oatmeal on the floor.
SCARLETTE: OH NO MOMMY! MY FEET TWYIN TO EAT DA OAKYMILK!
*
This morning I stepped out of the shower and Scarlette pointed to my chest while yelling “MOMMY TWO BELLYBUTTONS!”
*
Scarlette just pointed to a guy mowing the lawn across the street and said “Oh hey! Ish Nixie!”
I said “Well, that’s definitely not Nixie, that’s just a strange man.”
And then she started waving and yelling “HI SHTRANGE MAN! HI! HI SHTRANGE MAN!”
(That’ll teach me to be sarcastic to my 2 year old)
*
After a very long discussion about why we don’t wear our rain boots to bed, I went to check on Scarlette during the night and found that she had gotten up, put her rain boots on the wrong feet, gotten back in bed, and fallen asleep with them on. She really loves those boots, y’all.
(I love funny things kids say, not just my own, so feel free to share your funny stories in the comments!)
(P.S. Because I had a couple of concerned emails: I am not at all mocking Scarlette’s lisp. I love her lisp and want to capture the way she speaks as closely as I can before she outgrows it because I think her pronunciations are the sweetest thing ever.)
