We got a new refrigerator this weekend, thanks to the generosity of my in-laws, who called us up and said “We are getting a new refrigerator, would you like ours?” And I was all “YES I WOULD YOU LOVELY PEOPLE YOU.” Because our refrigerator was a bit dilapidated. And by that I mean that I had to keep the trash can pushed up against the door to keep it closed on account of how someone in our house had decided it would be a good idea to swing from the refrigerator door handle like a monkey and thus over time wore down the magnet.
I kept telling J that the refrigerator door was not a play thing but you know, men.
(Just kidding. It was Scarlette. Of course it was Scarlette.)
Scarlette spent the night at my mother’s house while we were doing the whole “moving the fridge” thing. And by “we” I mean that I helpfully stood in the kitchen and said things like “A little to the right” and “That’s definitely not going to fit.” Encouragement is my spiritual gift.
We had to leave the fridge off for 24 hours before we could use it and so I opened the doors to air it out and then spent the rest of that night eating all of the ice cream so that it didn’t melt as was my duty. I mean, we do have a deep freezer downstairs but that’s neither here nor there.
The next morning I heard a rustling about the house and blearily walked into the den to find Scarlette sitting on top of the dining room table with a handful of cookies.
“Scarlette! Are you supposed to have those cookies?” I asked her
And she burst into tears, walked over to stand front of the open, empty refrigerator, threw her hands in the air and said shakily, “BUT MOMMY LOOK! LOOK MOMMY! WE DON’T HAB ANY FOODS IN OUR REPRAGERATOR ANYMORE! ALL DAT WE HABS TO EAT ARE DESE COOKIES!”
I thought about chastising her about the cookies but then I figured she had been traumatized enough by the thought that all of our food had vanished overnight.
(And also because I thought back to my little dalliance with the ice cream the night before and figured that she gets it honest.)
Then later that day we learned all about how Ice Makers Are Not Toys and also how Just Because There Is A Water Dispenser On The Front Of The Fridge Does Not Mean We Wash Our Hands There. Although it is also my first time ever owning a fridge with a water and ice dispenser on it and so I understand her fascination. It is all very exciting.
But not as exciting as the other thing that happened this weekend.
I was searching around online for some anchor themed decor because this later month we’re celebrating my birthday and the birth of my book with a party at a local bookstore (to which you are all invited, more details to come.)
So I went to online to Target because they have some super cute nautical decor and I typed in some variations of the theme in the search bar, like nautical, anchor, anchored.
AND THEN THIS POPPED UP ON MY SCREEN
I did not even know that my book was available online at Target and so ACCIDENTALLY COMING ACROSS IT WHILE SHOPPING FOR RANDOM PARTY DECOR was probably the coolest thing that happened to me this weekend. Even cooler than my new refrigerator, who’s JOB it is TO BE COOL.
I mean, at first I was like “IS THIS REAL LIFE?” and checked around to make sure that I wasn’t being Punked and then I was like “J GET IN HERE AND LOOK AT MY COMPUTER SCREEN RAT NAO!”
(And he was all “Cool” because also like our new refrigerator, he is very chill. Whereas I am like “THIS IS AMAZING TEXT ALL THE PEOPLE OVERUSE OF EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!”)
I may or may not have spent the rest of the night randomly typing my own name in the search bar at target.com. Which made me look like this:
