I wanted to write a post today but it sort of hurts to type on account of how I might have burnt my fingers trying to frantically hot glue sequined circles onto a white shirt in order to make Scarlette a cow costume for today. Because, you know, ChickFilA Cow Appreciation Day. Which, apparently, Scarlette confused with the story of Jericho from the Bible. Sure. That makes sense.
And now I have to clean my house because for my birthday gift this year my husband gave me a gift certificate for monthly housekeeping since I had so much going on with the book launch. Only the problem is, my house is real messy and so now I need to stash everything in my Monica Closet so that the cleaners can come.
And by “Monica Closet” I mean “The Basement.”
Because all my other Monica Closets are full.
I’m pretty sure that is not how this housekeeping thing is supposed to work.
Scarlette is sitting in her bed reading The Giving Tree aloud to herself and if you’ve read my book, you know about the intense feelings I have towards that story. So I’m over here trying to shove this tub of craft supplies under my bed while listening to her say, with great emotion “I SO SORRY BOY. I CAN NOT GIB YOU ANYFING BECAUSE I ALREADY GABE YOU ALL MY APPLES BECAUSE I WEALLY LOVE YOU AND LET YOU SWING FROM MY BRANCHES AND DEN YOU GROWED UP AND WENT AWAY AND I WAS SO SAD.”
And I’m like “How about you read Curious George? Nothing sad even happens in Curious George, apart from that weird thing about how he gets stolen from his entire family in the jungle and all that they just glossed over like it wouldn’t be totally traumatic for a tiny monkey.”
So this is what Tuesday morning at my house looks like.
I mean, in a general sense, not literally like that picture. I did not even take that picture. I just downloaded it from the internets. I thought about waking up really early to take pretty pictures of the sunrise but then I thought about sleeping and decided to definitely do that instead.
