You're good at being who you are, but clearly can't do and be
everything. What does not come easy to you? What do you struggle with?
I had this question on my formspring and thought I'd answer it here.
Oh goodness, I feel like I'm this journey to being me still so thanks 🙂 And I struggle with a lot of things, more than I could write in one post. So I narrowed my long list down to something I am currently dealing with.
My grandmother was crippled by her OCD and her anxiety about driving overwhelmed her to the point that she couldn't drive on main roads. She was so charitable and generous that she would weekly drive the people in her church that were homebound to the grocery store. Her anxiety though, meant that she drove only on backroads and in parking lots (it took forever to get anywhere when she was driving!)
I inherited the OCD and the anxiety about driving. I waited until I was 18 to get my license. I was 20 when I drove on the highway for the first time. I drove one exit, then got off and bought myself a jamocha milkshake as a reward.
Over time my anxiety got better but this past fall my car went crazy. It totally freaked me out and I didn't want to drive it anymore. We had it fixed and it hasn't done it since, but it triggered my anxiety enormously.
That was in October and I'm still having to use the panic attack prevention techniques that I learned in therapy in order to get in the car every morning and afternoon. I only have a 10 minute drive to work and I haven't been able to drive anywhere else besides there and the grocery store that is next to our neighborhood. I missed my sister's birthday dinner because I was afraid to drive to the restaurant. Last week I got my oil changed at the Jiffy Lube next to my office and counted that as a victory. It was the first place I'd driven in months.
On my bad days my husband will check all of my fluids, make sure I have air in my tires and talk to me about all the safe places that I can pull over and call him if the car were to break down. He just does that to make me feel better, seeing as the car is running fine. He's even offered to let me drive our new car, but I don't want my anxiety to rule me so I'm making myself push through it every day.
I sing the entire way to work to distract myself.
I know some of you must suffer from panic attacks as well, so feel free to advise me on what you do to overcome them! Sometimes my deep breathing makes me feel lightheaded. And we all know what the other motorists think about my American Idol impressions 😉
