When I saw two pink lines on a pregnancy test the summer before last I sat in shock with that information for a really long time.
(If I were hip I would tell you that it made me feel “shook” but my little sister tells me that I can not pull off using trendy young people slang.)
Given my background of infertility, difficult pregnancy, oh and that whole thing about how my first baby was born unexpectedly at 25 weeks, this felt too big for me.
I spent nearly nine months in and out of stiff hospital beds, pressing my face into my pillow and wondering what in the world God was doing.
And then God made you.
I spent my pregnancy focusing on a single day at a time, meditating on the scripture found in 2nd Timothy, “I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until that day.” (1:12)
It was the same one I prayed over my one and a half pound baby through nearly half a year spent in the NICU.
I worried that I might not feel connected to the new baby because when I pressed my hands against the roundness of my belly I felt shaken up with fear and timid with joy.
Self preservation.
And then God made you.
And it sounds so cliche, to say that you were everything that I didn’t know I ever wanted.
But you are everything that I didn’t know I ever wanted.
“Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth… I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” – Isaiah 43:19
I thought our story was already full of color and rhythm and rhyme (after all, have you met your big sister?) and now the pages of it can barely contain the brushtrokes of my joy.
I am delighted by you.
You feel like brand-new and a second chance, all at the same time.
And I feel a bit breathless, partially because running after you and your sister all day will wind a girl, but also on account of how you immersed me in a season of awe and wonder.
Because everything changed when God made you.
Our favorite new children’s book is called When God Made You.** It was written by Matthew Paul Turner, who is the husband of one of my long-time friends, so I got to see an early sneak peek of it and have been championing it behind the scenes ever since.
If you have kids you will love the beautiful message, whimsical style, and suess-ical cadence of this book. And the illustrations were done by David Catrow, who also illustrated one of my other favorite children’s books Stand Tall Molly Lou Mellon, so they are honestly just gorgeous. Scarlette loves the rhyming but the baby really loves the bright colors.
Overall it’s a fantastic addition to the family bookshelf and will be a go-to gift for all the future baby showers I attend. I’m so in love with what Matthew has done in these pages.
(Also, Scarlette is a great little reader so I have been taking advantage of that by having her read to Ridley. To Scarlette I call this, “practicing your reading skills.” To myself I call this, “ten more minutes alone with this cup of coffee.” I am very good at parenting, I think.)
*photos one, two, and four by Ashley Mushegan Photography
** affiliate links included
