I missed the last two months of posting my Stuff Scarlette Says series so here is an update on some of the things my precocious girl has been saying and doing lately.
Scarlette used to just call every child who’s name she did not know “Larry.” Now that she is older and more mature she has naturally outgrown this little quirk. And so she just refers to them all as “Rudolph.”
We were at the park the other day and she made friends with an older little girl and kept saying “Let’s go play over here Rudolph!” And the little girl was all “My name is MADISON.” And Scarlette looked at her and said “Yeah, okay Rudolph, it’s your turn to slide.”
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I am the sort of person who hates taking naps in the middle of the day. After a few days of being up all night long with a sick baby I told J that I had to lay down for a little bit but to not let me sleep longer than thirty minutes.
Three hours later I woke up to J gently shaking me and Scarlette leaning over my face asking “Mommy, are you ANGRY SLEEPING?”
Turns out, J told her that I was sometimes cranky when I took a nap for too long in the middle of the day.
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If you know my husband at all you know that he pretty much only wears swooshy pants. Like, the 90’s throwback Adidas track pants. I have made my peace with this and you should too. But it’s basically a defining thing about my husband, like sometimes if we are going somewhere nice people will be like “Can you tell J he can’t wear swooshy pants to this place?” I relayed this to J and told him that this is what he was known for, these pants, and he disagreed.
So after I got a little overzealous in my effort to minimize my wardrobe for my closet makeover , I discovered that I had gotten rid of most of my lounge clothes and had nothing warm to wear while I was doing laundry. I found a pair of old Adidas track pants that, ironically, J had bought me when we first got married that I have never worn hidden in the back of my pajama drawer. I was wearing them when Scarlette woke up from her nap and she walked in the bedroom and looked at me, then looked at J, then looked back at me and asked “Um, Mommy? Why are you wearing Daddy’s pants?”
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One rainy day I decided to watch the movie Brave with Scarlette. And (spoiler alert) there is a scene in the movie where the mom turns into a bear. Scarlette interpreted this to mean that one day I am going to turn into a bear and now whenever I decide I want to eat some sort of delicious looking pastry she screams “NO MOMMY, NO! DAT GOING TO TURN YOU INTO A BEAR!”
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A little known fact about my husband is that he is a very good artist. He can look at anything and then draw it. I can’t even draw a straight line. I like to blame this on my astigmatism versus my lack of talent. Anyhow, in junior high he drew a picture of a jaguar, which his parents recently found at their house and had framed for us. Scarlette walked in, saw it, and shrieked “Mommy! Is dat a picture of YOU when you were a BEAR?!”
(I can’t decide if this is better or worse.)
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Scarlette: Mommy, what are you going to do while I’m at school today?
Me: I have some work to do on my book.
Scarlette, surveying the living room slowly: Wellllll, it’s pretty messy around here, actually. ((Very encouraging tone)) MAYBE you could try to do some cleaning, you know? ((Shrugs))
– ♥ –
Me: Okay Scarlette we can make a craft or we can go outside, which would you like to do?
Scarlette: COWBOY!
Me: That wasn’t actually a choice. Do you want to go outside or make a craft?
Scarlette: OH OKAY I KNOW! HOW ABOUT SILLY CLOWNS?!
Me: Again, not one of the choices. Do you mean that you want to make a craft of a clown?
Scarlette: NO! OH! OH! NUMBERS! ALPHABET! BASEBALL!
Me: I don’t understand what is happening here.
Scarlette: IT’S JUST SO EXCITING!
90% of my parenting is spent deciphering my child’s code.
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I introduced Scarlette to Hanson’s MMMBop video and then felt as though I was excelling at parenting. I was brushing my teeth while dancing around the room to said Hanson video when Scarlette asked me for a drink of water and I asked her to wait just a minute. To which she replied, “MOMMY. DIS IS SERIOUS. DIS IS NO TIME FOR DANCING.”
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Scarlette just sauntered in here and said incredibly cheerfully “I just want to show you this ONE little ninja trick I can do to your flowers!” And then she brandished a baseball bat.
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So last night I discovered that Milo & Otis is free to rent on Amazon Prime. Filled with nostalgic memories of my love of this movie as a child I decided it would make for the perfect Mommy/Daughter Movie Night. About twenty minutes in, all curled up on my bed with hot apple cider and watching Otis bravely follow Milo down the river while facing down wild animals out of love for his best friend I asked tearfully “So Scarlette, do you love this movie?”
And she said “Actually no, Mommy. It’s kind of FREAKING ME OUT over here.”
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Gymnastics Teacher: Scarlette, show me your backwards roll on the cheese mat.
Scarlette: Well, I can’t do dat because my Mommy doesn’t let me hab any cheese.
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Scarlette was driving a toy truck around and so J said “Hey Scarlette! Did you know that truck’s name is Optimus Prime?” And Scarlette said “Well, dat is cool. What is his surname?” And then we were all “I’m sorry, what?” And she said “His surname. You know. I fink it’s wike a nickname or somefing.”
(I have no idea where my child learned the word surname but I feel as though it’s safe to assume she’s basically a genius.)
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We’re getting a new bed today and when the delivery guys came in Scarlette said “HEY HEY HEY! WAIT WITE DERE, YOU CAN BE MY AUDIENCE!” Then she ran out of the room and ran back in adorned in pirate dress, cowboy hat and several necklaces and treated them to a rousing rendition of Let It Go.
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This morning during prayers we were talking about things we needed to ask God to help us with today. And Scarlette said “And God I need jussa wittle bit of help with my coloring. But NOT a LOT of help God, just a WITTLE bit of help.”
(Because even the Creator of the universe is not exempt from I CAN DO IT MYSELF.)
P.S. I have been documenting this monthly since Scarlette could barely talk. Reading through all of them has me in stitches, if you are new here, you can catch up using this link!
