Today is World Prematurity Day. It falls exactly ten days after my daughter’s birthday. On November 7, 2010 she was born 15 weeks early, weighing just one pound, eight point six ounces. You leave that point six in because when you’re that small, every decimal place matters.
Many of you know Scarlette’s story, having stood with us in heart, holding her in your thoughts and prayers during her 156 day NICU stay. For those that don’t, I’ve added links to explain our journey towards the bottom of this post and I am honored to share it with you. I am so grateful that we just celebrated her first year of life. We are the lucky ones. We are the ones who lit a candle and sang a birthday song while in a hospital room across the country another sweet girl born too soon slipped away.
It grieves my heart, the amount of tragedy I’ve seen unfold in this new world I live in, one where I know what happens behind those glass doors. One where mothers quietly fade out of my preemie-parent support group as they lay their child in their final resting place.
Writing has always been my passion and blogging has afforded me many opportunities, from the cathartic spilling of emotions to the connection with other families who find themselves living out what we experienced. I never imagined it would give me a platform but I feel strongly that if I’m to find myself standing on it, I want to do it justice.
For some of us, there is nothing anyone could do to prevent such early births. But for others, there is. I recommend that every woman know the signs of pre-term labor and this is an excellent article on risk factors and symptoms to watch for.
My daughter was born at 25 weeks. I thought I was further along and then they ran tests that said otherwise. They pointed out her undeveloped features; her eyes that were still fused shut, her lack of eyebrows, eyelashes and nipples. I watched her tiny body that fit in my husbands hands heave for breath and I wept with furied anguish at her suffering. So I am telling you: be aware of the signs. Don’t be afraid to call your doctor with concerns that seem silly. Trust yourself. It might not change anything. But it might change everything.
Here are some links that I would like to share with you today:
- What to expect with a premature delivery – A great article from the University of Maryland Medical Center
- Pampers Gifts To Grow offers the opportunity to donate the points you accumulate to Graham’s Foundation, which sends care packages to families of micro-preemies in the NICU. You get 100 points if you sign up through that referral link. Every ten points donated equals a ten cent donation. They were a very valuable resource for us so I send them all of my points and I would love it if you would consider doing the same.
- This is a link to all of the preemie resources that I gathered when Scarlette was in the hospital. If you are a preemie parent, I highly recommend that you join support group, especially if your little one is still in the hospital.
- Pictures of Hope is a national network of photographers that will send a photographer to the NICU to photograph a baby and it’s family for free. There wasn’t a photographer affiliated with them in our area while we were in the NICU and I would have loved some photos of us as a family in Scarlette’s earliest days. I know many people who read here are photographers, and talented ones at that. I would like to ask you to look at the organization and consider offering your services for your area or passing it along to photographer friends that you think may be interested. I think it is an amazing offering to provide something “normal” for a family in the most abnormal of situations.
- What not to say to parents of premature babies – I’m quoted in this article from The Bump. I don’t think it fully covers what we were trying to say, which is that most of us are at our breaking point and likely to misinterpret many things as hurtful. We were lucky to have so much support but many preemie families are faced with people who just don’t know what to say. I think the best thing you can say to someone is “I’m sorry that this happened to you, I’m praying for your baby.” Also, never tell a preemie mom that she’s lucky to be getting sleep since her baby is in the hospital. Trust me, she’s not sleeping. And she’ll want to punch you 😉
You can read Scarlette’s birth story here, the medical diary I kept while she was in the NICU here, and all of the posts I wrote during her NICU stay here. You can also see her photo album here, but be warned that several of the pictures may be difficult to see.
I am sharing this post alongside other preemie families participating in Bloggers Unite. It would mean much to me if you would consider sharing this post via the facebook & twitter buttons below, in an effort to raise awareness and educate families. Thank you so much.
